


all my secrets away

by onward



Category: Free!
Genre: Asexual!Nagisa, Asexuality, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, because the world needs more ace nagisa, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 02:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3511073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onward/pseuds/onward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rei thinks Nagisa is hiding something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all my secrets away

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! first things first: this fic is about asexuality, and i am not asexual, so if i misrepresent being ace in any way please let me know!! i mean no offense.   
> this was written for the [winter 2015 free! shipping relay](http://freeshippingrelay.tumblr.com/) and [crossposted on tumblr](http://freeshippingrelay.tumblr.com/post/111606129294/all-my-secrets-away). team hardcore ftw  
> title from [secrets by onerepublic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHm9MG9xw1o)!   
> as usual, please let me know if you catch any typos! thanks a bunch (*≧▽≦)

Things in Iwatobi were the same as usual, surprisingly enough.

It’d been a few days since Rei had confessed to Nagisa, Rei having pulled him aside and fumbled halfway through his prepared speech before Nagisa had told him to shut up, Rei, he felt the same, Rei having been so happy he’d teared up. (Nagisa was never going to stop teasing him about that one.) 

Aside from the awkwardness that came from tentatively pushing their boundaries further, holding hands and sitting pressed up next to each other at lunch, everything was going well. The first and second years, tired of the two of them dancing around each other without noticing, had cheered when they’d caught their captain and his new boyfriend with their hands clasped together. Rei had told them to get back to work, and the first year girls had squealed and scurried off to their respective lanes. That was when it happened.

“I’d like it if you put me to work, Rei-chan,” Nagisa said, winking at him before letting go of his hand and diving into the pool, leaving behind a very flustered Rei.

The remark was the first of many. 

Every practice, Nagisa would find some way to squeeze in a lewd comment directed at Rei. Their swimmers would whoop and holler, and Rei would be left burning with embarrassment (and, in some unfortunate cases, turned on.) Rei didn’t exactly _mind,_ per se; he was mainly worried about his reputation of authority as captain, but had it truly bothered him he would have told Nagisa to stop. The problem was, Rei felt something about Nagisa was off. Each time Nagisa pulled out a joke, their teammates would laugh, but he lacked the usual gleam in his eyes, the one that showed he was having fun making a fool out of Rei. Rei thought maybe he was going crazy, noticing characteristics that were or weren’t there, but at the same time he was having trouble letting go of the thought.

As he sat at his table in his bedroom a week or so after it had begun, he thought of his other friends, last year’s graduates, who had known Nagisa since elementary school. Perhaps they would know what to do.

His mind jumped to Haru, but Rei shook his head at the thought. Haru could barely give him advice when it came to swimming, much less this. Makoto might try to give a few suggestions, but Rei was not particularly close with his former captain, and the subject was somewhat delicate, so he scratched Makoto off his mental list. That left…

Rei stood up and got his phone out of his bag, scrolling through the few contacts he had and selecting one. The phone rang twice before the other picked up.

“Yo,” came the voice on the opposite end.

“Ah, Rin-senpai, do you have a moment?” Rei asked, adjusting his glasses out of habit.

“Stop calling me that, Rei, we’re not even in school together anymore. What’s going on?” Rin asked, his voice made a bit gravelly by the poor connection.

“I, well… I have an inquiry regarding Nagisa-kun.” Rei caught himself starting to pace and sat down to stop himself.

“Yeah? What’s up?” Rin asked.

“Well… He’s been, ah, making a lot of… crude jokes lately, and–”

“Hold up, Rei, you can’t possibly be calling me about Nagisa overstepping boundaries. This is _Nagisa_ we’re talking about–”

“Th-that’s not it–”

“Okay, then what is it?”

Rei sighed into the receiver. “He just–I’ve got a bad feeling about it is all. He doesn’t seem like himself.” For a moment, there was a silence on the other end.

“Listen, Rei,” Rin started, a seriousness to his voice that hadn’t been there a few moments ago, “If we’re being honest here, you’re the one who knows Nagisa best, out of all of us. Makoto, Haru and I may have known him longer, but you have something none of us could have with him. I’d trust yourself, if I were you.”

Rei caught himself smiling into the phone. “Thank you, Rin. It means a lot.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, now stop talking to me and deal with the idiot.”

~ ~ ~

Rei struck up a plan: he would take Nagisa out on the most perfect date that had ever been, then right at the end, as they were both content from their marvelous day out, he would bring up the subject to Nagisa and attempt to settle the matter with him.

Rei spent two hours planning every detail before presenting the idea to Nagisa the next day. Nagisa, of course, was plenty eager to go along. 

“It’s our first date, Rei-chan!” he shouted, holding both of Rei’s hands as he jumped up and down.

Rei meant to sigh out of exasperation, but it came out as more of a laugh instead.

They set out to town together as soon as swim practice was over and they’d changed, walking down the road as Nagisa skipped and hummed to himself. When they made it about halfway there, Nagisa’s hand brushed against the back of Rei’s. Rei swore he felt his entire body heat up a degree or two. Then Nagisa grabbed his hand and stopped the skipping in favor of swinging their hands together, and Rei was done for. It wasn’t even near the first time they’d held hands, but it still made him just as nervous as every other instance.

They went to the aquarium, of course, it being Nagisa’s favorite spot to visit in town. Rei bore with Nagisa as he was dragged through all the exhibits, listening to Nagisa’s excited squeals at the penguins and complaints at the lack of a butterfly exhibit, Rei’s _It’s an aquarium, Nagisa-kun, and butterflies are not aquatic creatures_ having no effect on him.

Their next stop was the café next door, where Rei treated Nagisa to a strawberry cake and bought himself a decaf coffee. Rei listened to Nagisa ramble about the drama that had aired the night before until most of the patrons had emptied out and they were the last ones left. They made their way outside and walked along the beach, not heading away from the train station but making no moves to go home either.

It wasn’t until the sun had started to set and Rei suggested they walk back to the station that he remembered the whole reason he had planned this date. Nagisa had not made a single crude remark the whole afternoon, and they were having such a good time, Rei almost decided to forego asking Nagisa in favor of letting it sit for another time.

He looked over to ask Nagisa about how he was getting home when he noticed tears in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Nagisa-kun? What’s wrong?” he asked.

Nagisa hiccuped in surprise and swung his head around away from Rei. “Nothing,” he said, voice weak. He stopped on the path they were on, facing away from Rei, shoulders hunched.

“Nagisa?” Rei tried. From where he stood, he could see Nagisa was shaking.

“It’s just,” Nagisa said, wavering, “It’s just that Rei-chan is so nice to me, and I don’t know what to do!”

“What do you mean?” Rei asked, trying to be gentle with his words. He walked around so that Nagisa was facing him, but Nagisa refused to look up at him. He was silent for a few moments, before seeming to gather up the courage to speak.

“I’m asexual,” Nagisa said, wincing immediately after as if sure the words wouldn’t be met well. At Rei’s silence, he kept going. “It means… I’m not attracted to people. In a sexual way. Like, I don’t… I don’t want to have sex with anyone.” 

Rei stayed silent for a beat.

“Is that why you were making all those jokes? You didn’t want me to know?” he asked. Nagisa nodded, still looking down.

Rei was too busy processing the information to think of what to say. After a minute, Nagisa looked up, and must’ve mistaken the confusion on Rei’s face for offense, because he started to sputter.

“N-not there’s anything wrong with Rei-chan! You are very beautiful, Rei-chan, it’s just me that has something wrong with him–”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Nagisa-kun,” Rei said before Nagisa could go any further. Nagisa’s expression dropped.

“Yes there is,” he said, “It’s not normal. I’m not normal.” He balled up his fists and refused to look up from where he was staring at the ground. Rei cleared his throat, and let himself smile at Nagisa.

“Nagisa-kun, I am not in a relationship with you because I wish to have sexual relations with you. I am with you because you are spirited and passionate, and you care very much about others. You are intelligent when it comes to dealing with people and manage to brighten up even very dark situations.” Nagisa was avoiding his eyes, still sniffling, but seemed to be shaking a little bit less. “That you don’t feel attraction like I do does not make you abnormal. It just means you are not like me.” Rei smiled. “And, Nagisa-kun, we were never all that similar to begin with. That didn’t stop us.” He paused. “If you don’t want it to, this should not either.”

Then Nagisa was crying again, loud, open-mouthed sobs, and when he shoved himself against Rei and pulled his arms around him, Rei hugged him back.

The pair stayed like that for a while, as it got darker and darker around them, until Nagisa’s crying lessened into small whimpers and his arms grew tighter around Rei, before letting go. 

“Thanks, Rei-chan,” he sniffled as he pulled away. The small smile on his face was enough to allow Rei to let go of his last worries.

“May I ask a question?” Rei said, and Nagisa cocked his head and nodded. “You are all right with… physical contact? Such as…” Rei’s face reddened. “Ah–”

“Ohh, is Rei-chan a cuddler?” The gleam had returned to Nagisa’s eyes.

“I–I didn’t say that–” Rei spluttered. 

“Of course,” Nagisa said, laughing, “Anything for Rei-chan.” He grabbed Rei’s hand and started pulling him in the direction of the station.

They walked home with their fingers entwined, and didn’t let go the whole way back. 


End file.
